Sky Chatting

November 4, 2017

Back when I was afraid of falling asleep by myself, shadows of trees would rock against my bedroom ceiling. I did not want to close my eyes, so I would concentrate on its drywall texture. It was a map of unexplored geography. In the shadows, I imagined the stencils of kingdoms until I was dizzy from concentrating on the ceiling. I would turn away from the dark shapes and try to sleep, but restless nausea met the fear of closing my eyes.

We lived in Federal Way, Washington, back when “federal” was not in my vocabulary. There was a two-bedroom townhouse for you, me, and Robert. Every night, you and Robert went to sleep in the master bedroom. I went alone to my dark, drywall sky. I was afraid to close my eyes. I would go to your room to escape shadowy kingdoms. I could finally fall asleep next to you.

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As Flower as Fiction

September 25, 2017

Drawing is freestyling. I won’t draw exactly what I see, because that’s really hard. I’ll mimic its style, how I see the overall shape, how the light generally falls. But the actual, specific outlines—those details I forego.

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Twenty

February 18, 2017

“What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are –underneath the year that makes you eleven.”

Sandra Cisneros

I turned 20 on Monday. I’d like to thank God for keeping my dumbass alive for this long, as well as these tidbits of insight I’ve picked up over two decades…

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